15 Things You Should Know Before Dating A Rawrgirl, Other than the fact that we ARE hilarious . . .

1. We will read our latest blog post out to you every night before bed. You must rate it on a scale of Britney Spears songs, which means basically everything is a 10. We win.

2. We love to text long. We also enjoy summer days and long walks on the beach. GSOH essential. WTF. GTFO.
3. We'll say we have stuff to do to get out of deadlines. Just STUFF okay?! RUDE.

4. We very rarely get free tickets to anything cool. And if we do, we're betting our idea of 'cool' isn't going to be yours. Except for that time we went to the Jay-Z concert and you stayed at home. Awkwaaaaaarrrrrrrd.

5. We'll act surprised when you finally read our work. Even though we handed you a business card with the blog url on it, and linked you on Twitter. 

6. Toffifee. Just Toffifee.

7. We know loads of other bloggers. And yes, we've never met them but they're all heroes of ours. The posts they've created over the years, we don't really read them, but the fact they're writing them, we respect that. 

8. You'll get a lot of free booze. Nothing to do with blogging at all. Entirely because we like a tipple and will be looking to get you drunk and nude except for a Spirithood atop your head.

9. We don't want to hear about that amazing post you read the other day. Unless it was on this blog. Or some sort of exceptional signpost you were driving past.

10. Our mobile battery life is directly connected to our mood. Dude honestly, we're not Google imaging 'Taylor Kitsch' for fun, this is research! Luckily we always carry portable battery chargers round so the research can continue on the move. Even on dates. Or in bed.

11. If we're still together on your birthday, we'll be writing a post on anything that comes into the inbox. Screw the content for a fortnight, you EXPENSIVE son!

12. Yes we spent the entire day in our pyjamas covered in biscuit crumbs. Because any precious second away from dayjob hell should be celebrated to excess. Pass the Ferrero Rocher, turn over to MLP, shut the eff up and sit the hell down. 
13. We always use our pseudo's - Lady Jade Rawrcous of Rawr Towers and Duchess Tara Rawrfoods of Rawrton on Sea. This will work to your advantage in bed, especially if we're busy doing research (see #10).
14. We're generally pretty confident. Unless you count the constant body comparisons to fitness bloggers, brow comparisons to the beauty bloggers and boot comparisons to the fashion bloggers. Other than that, we're all about the self confidence.
15. We've probably considered dating that Twitter fan you feel weird about. And by 'considered' read 'daydreamed about'. And by 'dating' read 'twirling our fingers around the beard of'. And by 'that Twitter fan' read 'Jason Momoa'. But no need to feel weird about it boo. Hopefully this was written with a little more obvious tongue in cheek vibe than the carcrash that was the now infamous '15 things you should know before dating a girl who blogs' Cosmo post, especially #7, but to be honest if you aren't familiar with that Zoolander quote then we can't be friends anyway, so hey ho ;)

Happy Tuesday Boozeday!

J xoxo